Small or big love
Children’s love is a special category of the child’s feelings.
When a little child falls in love, for example in the kindergarten, we are not inclined to take it seriously.
But it’s strange because when it comes to the first feeling of our children, we are not sentimental at all: “What love are you talking about, you are too young?”.
And your child’s love can come when he or she is 5-6 or 12 years old. And it will be the serious feelings leaving a mark in his or her heart. That’s why they deserve respect and reverent attitude.
A rough word, careless action, taunts or condemnation can harm a person’s emotional development.
And then, when an adult son or daughter will not be able to build a normal family relationship, will have to regret the mistakes made with such carelessness.
Don't say "prickly" phrases
So, you’ve known that your child fell in love! According your life experience and age, this situation may seem scanty to you. But for your child it’s a realevent which at this period of time is the main thing in his or her life.
How to react when you reveal one of the biggest secrets of your child?
Before you say something, think about how it will affect the delicate mental organization of the child. Otherwise, this secret will be the last thing you’ve known because you can forever lose the trust of your child.
Be able to listen
It’s important to listen without interrupting. Let your daughter or son tell you how he or she feels.
At the end of the story, ask questions that will arise in the course of the story. You will demonstrate your interest and involvement in the situation in such a way.
Don't underestimate the importance of children's love
Respect is an extremely important component in education.
You should always respect the thoughts, desires and feelings of your child, no matter what age he or she is.
- Listening, consulting with him or her, let him or her know that he or she is important and his or her opinion is of great importance.
- In the future, this will be transformed into confidence, determination and other qualities that characterize successful people.
- Respect the child’s choice.
- Don’t express negativity towards his or her object of love.
Be on equal terms
You must always communicate on an equal terms with your child and in this matter – especially.
- Don’t lisp, don’t regret and don’t be touched by his or her childish love.
- Listen carefully, be interested and ask again, be active in the conversation.
Don’t dictate your terms but advise how to act in a best way
- The conversation should be conducted in such a way that the child feels free and comfortable.
- Position yourself as a friend who listens and not an ever-instructing parent.
Due to the small life experience, the child may not understand the things which seem to us elementary. Consider this in the process of a friendly conversation with him or her.
Try to help to understand difficult situations.
Give tips on how to receive and make signs of attention.
Help to solve problems
Talk with your child on disturbing topics. The first love that comes at school age is considered to be the most exciting. After all, the child is already embarrassed in the presence of the object of love, he or she is haunted by a lot of questions and worries, he or she is afraid of being rejected, misunderstood, etc.
Encourage him or her to have a frank and honest conversation.
In preschool age, the child has less fears and worries but this doesn’t exclude the need for trusting communication.
- Tell your child about your first love story.
- Tell him or her about your feelings, emotions and fears.
- Share your experience of romantic walks.
Let the child understand that he or she is not the first who feels like this and he or she is not alone in his or her worries.
Ask your son or daughter what it means to him/her to love, to be in love.
Know how to keep secrets
- Become a real friend and understanding listener for your child.
- Let him or her to reveal his or her secrets and share his or her thoughts, dreams, and fears.
- Promise to keep the secrets he or she told you and keep that promise without fail.
If he or she wants to be alone, let him or her be alone.
Adults, of course, have much more experience and they are wiser but be able to retreat in time and allow the child to make his/her own decisions.
You shouldn’t control his/her every step. First love is a very personal and fragile feeling which parents need to respect.
- Don’t forbid to communicate with the object of love one on one.
- Show tact and full confidence.
How to react to a child's love
First of all, be calm and patient.
Children are usually very secretive in matters of personal sympathy, that’s why don’t ask and don’t press.
Give him/her the opportunity to let you know about his/her emotional experiences. If the love of the child is rejected – there will be a lot of tears. Let the child cry and say what he/she has in his heart.
First love is a feeling that we, adults, remember with special warmth. However, many children’s love stories are associated with something painful and unpleasant. This once again proves the importance of the first love experience.
In order not to make the love of your child a sad page in his/her life, try as much as possible to talk to him/her on this topic, don’t leave the child alone with experiences. Try to teach, explain, advise – and then the child will see you not only as a parent but also as a real friend.